LSS

By: P

May narinig akong kanta kanina.

“I’m at a payphone trying to call home…all of chu chu chu chuu-u on you.”

Mula BaCav, Coastal, Airport Road, Skyway hanggang umabot ng Makati, yan ang paulit-ulit kong kinakanta – ‘yang nag-iisang linya na ‘yan na hindi ko alam ang buong lyrics. Nangyari na nga kinatatakutan ko. Inatake na naman ako ng LSS (Last Song Syndrome).

Sigurado akong maraming nakaka-relate sa inyo d’yan. Ang masasabi ko lang, ang LSS, bukod sa di maiiwasan, ay swertihan. Bakit kamo? Katulad today, swerte ako dahil katanggap-tanggap ang awiting dumikit sa kukote ko na parang tuko – Maroon 5. Cool.

E noong isang araw, eto ang na-chempuhan ko…

“You’ve got to love me for what I am, for simply being me…”

Todas!

Isa pang dahilan kung bakit swertihan ang LSS ay dahil buenas ka kung alam mo ang lyrics nung LSS mo. Dahil kung hindi, maghapon kang “chu chu chu-u” o di kaya “la la lala”. Ang mas masaklap pa, ‘pag nag-iimbento ka na lang ng lyrics. Dyan ako expert. Sa sobrang husay ko nga, nakukumbinsi ko na ang sarili ko na yun talaga ang tamang lyrics. At sa pag-aakalang ‘yan, dyan ako napapahamak.

Madalas kasing with confidence and gusto ang kanta ko… only to find out na wala palang mas lalayo sa na-imbento kong mga titik ng kanta. Pasensya, Tae lang.

At dahil mahal ko kayong mga ka-soshal-an namin dito sa T.S.N., I shall share ang ilan sa mga pinaka-palpak na pagmamarunong ko ng kanta. Ipagdadasal ko na lang na hindi ako ma-disbar kapalit ng entertainment niyo.

And the countdown begins…

	TITLE/SINGER	TAMA	MALING MALI
7	“Fresh Like Dougie” by Wes Nyle	Fresh like dougie Fresh like dougie Fre fre fresh like dougie Fresh like dougie	Fresh like that Fresh like that Fre fre fresh like that Fresh like that (Tatatlong salita na nga lang, sumablay pa sa isa. Akala ko talaga isang syllable lang ang kasya e. Try niyo kaya!)
6	“Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin	Upside inside out She's livin' la vida loca She'll push and pull you down Livin' la vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color mocha She will wear you out Livin' la vida loca Livin' la vida loca She's livin' la vida loca Woke up in New York City In a funky cheap hotel	Upside inside out She's livin' la vida loca She'll push and pull you down Livin' la vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color mocha She will wear you out Livin' la vida loca Livin' la vida loca She's livin' la vida loca Woke up in New York City In a fancy sepulcher (FYI: “Sepulcher” is a burial vault; a receptacle for sacred relics, especially in an altar. Pero siyempre hindi ko alam na may actual word na ganyan at the time na inimbento ko.)
5	“Grenade” by Bruno Mars	Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash You tossed it in the trash, you did To give me all your love is all I ever asked 'Cause what you don't understand is I'd catch a grenade for ya Throw my hand on a blade for ya I'd jump in front of a train for ya You know I'd do anything for ya	Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash You tossed it in the trash, you did To give me all your love is all I ever asked 'Cause what you don't understand is I'd catch in the name of love Throw my hand in the name of love I'd jump in front in the name of love You know I'd do in the name of love (Kaya nagtataka ako kung bakit “Grenade” ang title e wala naman sa lyrics.)
4	“Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga	Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh! Caught in a bad romance	Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh! Caught in a bedroom man (Walang sense alam ko. Wag niyo ko husgahan.)
3	“Drop It Like It’s Hot” by Snoop Dogg	When the pimp's in the crib ma Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot When the pigs try to get at ya Park it like it's hot Park it like it's hot Park it like it's hot	When the pimp's in the crib ma Pop it like guitar Pop it like guitar Pop it like guitar When the pigs try to get at ya Pop it like guitar Pop it like guitar Pop it like guitar (Wala akong depensa. Pop it like guitar amp&%@!!!)
2	“Mine” by Taylor Swift	Do you remember, we were sittin’ there, by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter You are the best thing that’s ever been mine	Do you remember, we were sittin’ there, by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time You made a chuvi chu chu chuvi chuvi chu chu daughter You are the best thing that’s ever been to Mars. (Alien! Alien!)
1	“T-shirt” by Shontelle	Nothing feels right when I'm not with you Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos Taking them off cause I feel a fool Trying to dress up when I'm missing you Ima step out of this lingerie Curl up in a ball with something Hanes In bed I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on With nothing but your t-shirt on	Nothing feels right when I'm not with you Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos Taking them off cause I feel a fool Trying to dress up when I'm missing you Ima step out of this lingerie Come up in the bar with something Hanes In bad L.A., with nothing but your t-shirt on With nothing but your t-shirt on (May sense kaya! Aminin mo! “Gonna go out” nga siya with her “girls” e. Edi malamang sa bar sila pupunta. Kung gusto niyang naka-t-shirt o brief na Hanes sa bar, wala na tayong pake dun. Atsaka malay ba  natin kung sa L.A. nga sila nakatira!)

Bitin pa kayo? At the risk na itakwil ako ng mga ka-opisina ko, may bonus pa ‘kong ibibigay sa inyo. Mga nahawa ata sa’kin.

“Just Like a Tattoo” by Jordin Sparks	Don't look back, got a new direction I loved you once, needed protection You're still a part of everything I do You're on my heart just like a tattoo Just like a tattoo I'll always have you	Don't look back, got a new direction I loved you once, needed protection You're still a part of everything I do You're on my heart just like a statue Just like a statue I'll always have you (Labyu, T.C.!)
“Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson	I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes ‘til I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I loved I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change And breakaway	I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes ‘til I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And break a leg Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I loved I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break a leg (Uy S.L., goodluck sa prelims ha. Break a leg!)

Tao lang ako…nagkakamali.Wala naman kayong ibang magagawa kundi…”You’ve got to love me for what I am, for simply being me. Don’t love me for what you intend or hope that I will be. And if you’re only using me to feed your fantasy, you’re really not in love so let me go. I must be free…” Goodluck sa LSS mo ngayon! Boom!